Did you know that the people that swear the most are the most honest, loyal and intelligent? F***ing right, they are! (Sorry…. Not sorry) And did you know that the people that are the toughest on you actually really care about you? I meet a lot of people. A LOT OF PEOPLE. This is due to my job, my career path, my frequent moves. And I love meeting new people….. Sometimes…. Often, I struggle. I am not one for small talk. I am far too impatient and I always prefer to get to know the real person behind the small talk – their story, their plans, their struggles. We all love someone else’s struggles – that’s what makes us human. Don’t feel guilty (unless you turn straight around and tell everyone else about that persons struggles that is).
Anyway, have you ever wondered why, for some reason, some people stay with you, no matter where you move to, what you do next or how long it’s been since you have seen each other? And then others, that seem to be your very best friend for some time you never see again? I have. Over and over again. I believe it is about interest or caring and honesty.
Firstly, interest and caring, because our paths take some random turns some times and people can only stay close if they are interested in each other’s life, even if they have chosen a different paths. So we accept that our friend is possibly doing something we couldn’t imagine ourselves doing, but we care that they are happy, excited, enthusiastic, successful and we want to learn about why they may be happy, excited, enthusiastic and successful. Apart from the fact that we know they would be successful, because they are our friends therefore they are amazing. Obviously.
Secondly: honesty. They have to be honest with me and I have to be honest with them. Honest and true. True to myself. And I like to swear. A lot. So if I can’t swear in front of someone, then I am not my true self. I realised this a good few years ago now, at which time I had a great boss. I am actually working closely with her again now, thank goodness, and I am sure she will recognise herself when she reads this. She swears a lot (especially during the school run – my favourite time to talk to her) and she was/is tough, but so supportive and understanding and caring. Despite me having to leave my job back then and leaving the country, we were still in touch six years later when she helped me get another job. We have one thing in common: we don’t like people (only special people).
I didn’t realise it at the time, but my PE teacher in school was the same. He made us run barefoot through the snow (this was in Germany, where we actually get snow). He was also our maths teacher and made us do push ups in front of the whole class if we forgot our homework. Trust me, it didn’t happen often! Looking back now, he was the teacher that taught us the most because we all made sure we did the work, even though I couldn’t stand the guy at the time, I really appreciate him now.
My most recent boss: a tough guy, likes getting shit done (hallelujah). Being anxious and a bit too soft at times, I got to learn a lot from him. And guess what? I can swear in front of him. Oh yes. Makes all the difference. And do you know how I know that he knew me and cared despite the tough shell? I could tell he wasn’t impressed when I resigned. However, he asked where I was going and laughed out loud as soon as I said I was becoming something like a professional coffee drinker again. He knew this job change was like Christmas for me!
Lastly… The person that swears more in a professional setting than anyone else I know. He has liked every single blog post so far, despite me not having seen him in over a very tough year, but he is very close to my heart.
Sometimes, the toughest care the most. If you make the cut, it is worth it and most likely for life. And don’t forget: they are also the most intelligent. It’s what I saw on Facebook, so it must be true.